ADHD

ADHD... Adult ADHD.  ADD?  repeat...

I was diagnosed yesterday with Adult ADHD, Combined Presentation.

Crickets

More crickets.

Again, more crickets.

I went to bed early feeling confused, blank, numb and needing answers.  The best part of yesterday was when my husband just sat next to me in bed to be my support. It was barely dark out but he was by my side being my rock.  He's really great at this and has been my "medication" for a long time.  I recently just realized that.  

He is my medication.

I'm not dependent on him, but if i'm feeling fear, or anxiousness, really any uncertainty I usually just need quick eye contact or a short text, and I feel reassured.  Every time.  

Work arounds have apparently sustained me for the last 40 years since I feel and appear to be a successful whatever I am... mom, wife, friend, daughter, aunt, supporter, creator, do-er of things.  This makes me feel pretty proud actually, since everything I do seems really complicated to start, but I've learned to find my way through the quick sand of getting it done.  Usually my motivation is not letting people down.  That's just the worst for me.  

Why didn't anyone catch this while I was a kid?  Yeah, why?  Maybe it was a generational thing, or maybe I've always been that good at hiding my fears or perceived flaws.  Who knows.  It's ok.  Just keep swimming.

The next step will be to visit with my Primary Care doctor and together we will determine the beginning of this road that makes the most sense for me right now.  I know this road will have many off ramps and pot holes and smooth spots but it will be a beautiful trip.  It always is!

Smiles,

Sara